DA Club III

[pearlharbr]

First of all, I'm going to reiterate again that detaching does NOT equal going dark. The fact that a lot of people end up taking that route is something separate. You CAN detach without stopping all communication. We are here to help and support each other with all kinds of detaching.

That said, Catherine, I totally get where you're coming from. I had a very hard time detaching while xBF was still living in the house. Part of that stems from the fact that he was continuing his affair and I got tired of him cake-eating.

Jon can help you with going dark with children. The key is to keep all communication strictly to business. A good guideline is to not answer the phone or texts immediately. If you want to call, email, text then let it sit for a few hours or more and then do so only if it is absolutely necessary business.

This is where GAL activities come in. If you're out having fun you will not be sitting home alone moping. What are your GAL activities? And please don't say working out. I'm tired of hearing that from people. It's fine if you do, but there should be other things too.

For example, I spend one night a week each on taking dance classes, yoga, going to happy hour with a girlfriend. I also say yes to any invitation whether I think I will like it or not. I've gone to comedy clubs, theme parties, skiing, country dancing, dinner at new restaurants. And I started doing things on my own like going to concerts, sports bars, and traveling and ended up meeting fun and interesting people.

Remember that the point of going dark is to use the time and space to heal and work on yourself.