Holding onto Hope

[In Limbo]

I am new to this site and not sure I'm doing this right, but would really like to get hooked into this support system. My H and I met in high school and have been together ever since. We have not been happy for quite some time. After many months of suspicions, last month I stumbled across emails between him and his OW. I texted her when I found them, so she knows that I have seen the emails. It's an EA and he professed his love for her, but says it's not sexual. Whatever it is, he was more emotionally intimate with her than he's been with me in years and years, maybe ever. And he was doing all of this during the little time he was home, sometimes with me sitting next to him in bed. OW is 12 years younger, married and worked for him. He says he still loves me but wants more, wants a connection we don't have and he doesn't know if he wants to work on our marriage. He says he has not been in contact with her, but has not told her not to contact him and has not told her anything about us. He changed jobs two weeks ago so he doesn't have to see her every day, but he still does things in a group setting where she is there and I'm not invited. We are talking, going to counseling now and our communication is better than it has been in a long time. He says he is confused and doesn't want to hurt me. He says he loves me and misses me, but he's not attracted to me anymore and is emotionally detached from me. He even said maybe we would make better friends than spouses. He has moved out during the week and comes home on weekends. I am committed to working on our marriage and want us to be happy. I don't want to continue living the way we were even before OW. I have ordered the DB and DR books, but have not yet received them. My heart has broken reading all of the stories posted on this site. I am going crazy living in this limbo of will he go or stay and wondering how do I show my commitment and love without sacrificing my own emotional well-being. I am sick of this roller coaster ride of convincing myself I'm ok only to five minutes later feel like I won't make it through the night. I'm trying not to contact him and try to be positive when we talk, but it is so difficult. There's a lot more to this story, but I feel like I've written a book already so I'll stop here. I hope that someone can offer some advice on how to fight for my marriage without pursuing H too much.
Me-39
H-38
S-11, S-7
T-22
M-15
Bomb (EA)-3/11/09