Saving Military Marriage - 3

[FitChik]

Wow J! I'm not even sure where to start. Thanks for your great advice. It's nice to have it all put together and spelled out.

It is much better to find out now than later. My H continued to tell me I would be better in the long run if I would let him go now.... and I never understand why he said that to me. Of course now I know.

H wants to be a good man but has big flaws (like we all do!). I honestly feel for him b/c his flaws are from a tough upbringing. He has never experienced real love or support from his family or in relationships.... but he definitely has had chances and has ran away from them.

However we can all chose to work through our past and not be victims from it. We will always carry some baggage from it but it can also give us strength and character. Unfortunately he choses to let his flaws run his life out of defense....

I hope he does realize the huge loss he's endured eventually. And I hope it is for his benefit so he will get his act together, work on himself, and find the happiness he is searching for.

It's heartbreaking watching someone you love behave wrecklessly & be self-destructive (as well as hurting those around him!). I believe deep down he knows he is troubled but like you said 25mlc, needs to experience loss for it to make a real impact. Sad part is he has endured some big losses and it hasn't made a big enough dent..... I am almost frightened to know how hard he has to be hit! He's just a recipe for disaster but puts up the defenses and drives on....

I have a lot to look forward to. I am strangely motivated for our deployment. It is the reason I decide to join the Army so now is my chance. I will get a life-changing experience and lots of medical practice.

I am taking a ski trip with some friends up to Whistler, Canada for a few days next week, which I am sooo excited about! I made sure to tell my H I was going with a few guy buds - which is true.... and he made sure to bring to my attention again :-).

In May I am climbing Mt Rainier - all 14,411 feet!! I have never took on this kind of endeavour... so I need to get into great shape!! It will take up a lot of training time & prep time.

And I will be heading to Vegas with my best GF (who is a mom of 2 children and hasn't taken a vacation away from them yet!). We're definitely going to get into some trouble and get decked out!

I am still unsure what to do legally. I have just been going with the flow and seeing how everything plays out. I hope I will gain some clarity after all of this new info soaks in. At this point, I am not even sure the D will go through before I leave unless I press it. I feel I need a L - even though we have nothing joint and I have no big assests. But I have zero trust left at this point for my H. I never dreamed I would be going through a D only several months after a getting married or that my H would be non-chalantly sleeping with other W.... so how can I trust anything at this point??