WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 6

[confusedinpa]

Not a lot going on tonite between my wife and I.

On my way home, my wife called to ask if I could start the oven for dinner to make veal. I picked up my oldest from school. I actually had dinner almost ready by the time my wife came home with my youngest.

She seemed really grumpy, not sure if its getting close to her time of the month, or she is still hurting from her fall or it was a rough day at work. I was actually upbeat and positive - not sure why as my stomach was still bothering me from last nite.

We ate dinner and chatted lightly. Nothing serious, just how was your day type of stuff. She showed me how badly her bruises are coming in. I tried to be compassionate and said "I can see how those are really making you uncomfortable. Let me know if there is anything I can do to make you feel better"

It was a risky statement because I thought it would lead to custody or what she was taking request but she didn't.

After dinner I took the kids up to get their baths. She came up a short while and asked me to crack her back. This time I said "Sure hun, I'd love to" (recall I was worried about continuing with my old reply "Sure, if that's what you want" from this morning). This time she held for a bit after her back crack

After bath we all went to the playroom in the basement. She was down just for a few minutes before she said she had to go to the bathroom. She never came back down

It didn't bother me at all as I just watched the boys play and played with them a bit. I still wasn't feeling quite right so I actually fell asleep on the couch for a few minutes

I woke up in time to read books with my boys and watched their show. After my wife and I put the kids to bed, we went back down to the family

My wife could see I was very uncomfortable still. She thought it was from the fresh garlic on the bread we ate last nite. She tried to offer ideas to relieve some of the gas pain. She even offered to grab some medicine for me. I declined.

We watched a show as she flipped through the entertainment guide that I got her back in Feb for us to find places for our date nites. At the end of the show, she said good nite and went upstairs

I actually feel like I'm getting to a better place. I really feel like I have made the changes to be a better man, father and friend/person. Many people have seen it and appreciate it. All but my wife because she chooses not to believe/see it. That's her choice. I know I will continue to evolve as I heal. It will be hard when she leaves, but I will have people who love me around. Even if I'm alone, I will be ok and choose to be happy