IMO, it's never TMI. Maybe there are some that can't handle it, but I can say that most of us in this forum have shared a whole lot of nitty gritty. Sometimes to make a point, sometimes seeking help, sometimes just because. Don't worry too much about editing, and just tell us what you want to tell us.
Your level of trust in your M needs to be strengthened through time. Lack of trust/diminished trust is a huge barrier to connecting emotionally and sexually. Though the polygraph was a success and gave you some satisfaction, it reinforced that you don't trust him. He knows that he is not on solid ground. Not easy to dive right into passion in the wake of what you two have been through. It is good to hear that he is in IC and that things are improving.
The mechanics of your lovemaking would not be such an issue for you if you achieved a more satisfactory emotional connection and open communication with your H. The same advice that Bagheera, Cinco, and DanceQueen gave you on your original thread still applies today.
Until you two are able to connect and rekindle your friendship and trust, you are not going to feel great about the sex. Your feeling like a blow up doll is a valid feeling. It just points to the fact that you aren't connecting outside of sex. If you were in sync with your H, you might just love that position from time to time.
Most of us would agree that having a routine set of positions for each LM session would get old and boring. There is nothing wrong with you having preferences and communicating them.
Why are you afraid to say something about what you like or dislike? Your preferences are not going to drive him to another woman. Your communication of those preferences should be done in a loving and sensitive manner, of course.
You want to be chosen, you want to be pursued, you want to be taken. Right? Have you communicated this to your H? Does he understand that in order for you to heat up, you need him to pursue you in AND OUT of the bedroom, consistently, throughout each day?
Can you think of instances in which you two communicate the best? When it seems that you are in harmony and "clicking"? Perhaps those scenarios can be leveraged to segue into a discussion about communication, connection, and passion.
