Given the similarities or your sitch to mine, consider picking up a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy" (NMMNG) in text or audio version. You may be surprised by what you learn about you - I certainly was surprised.
Also, it sounds like you're still in Stage 1: "reducing the negative emotions". I would think flirting would backfire, but certainly listen to DQ's advice.
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H40 (me) W34 (WAW) S6 T11 M10
Feb09: Need a break bomb Mar09: I moved to apartment to GAL, PMA, NMMNG Apr09: WAW 'dating' OM at work, positive around me lately.
