I was wondering how you were doing. Sorry not so well. The rollercoaster is awful. I would advise not sending her divorce papers if you are not ready to go through with it. It's like what Michele said, use the LRT only if you are ready to go through with it. If you are then by all means. But D is such a hard decision and I too have been going back and forth with the decision of what to do. I've actually thought today that I need to seek an attorney to work out separation papers. But I don't think there is such a thing either in my state but we have debt that we need to work out.
Anyway, my only advice may be to try what I've now embark on. Going no contact until she is ready to make a final decision. I don't know if it will save my R, maybe the R is already over. But I did this as a way to save myself and stop the cake eating. My H also tells me he loves me and talks about "us" but makes no effort to work on us while developing a strong R with OW. I will tell you though, it is hard going NC. The withdrawal is hard to fight. It really is like breaking an addiction. Good luck and we're here when you need.
