The midlife crisis coupled with her being 35 and having a new hormonal makeup take over her body is making her think and do things that she doesn't know how to respond to. Heck, hormonal changes in your own body are making you act & take on more of what would be called a "wife/mother" role with your children.
Believe it or not, she is in her sexual prime and asking for a break from you and moving out and in the process of being cold and possibly angry to you means to me that she is in the process of having an affair or she is contemplating starting one.
You can tell me I'm totally wrong on this but I've read too much literature on this stuff for the past 18 months during my own separation and saw it happen in my own relationship with these same signs. There are things you can do right now but the longer you take, the longer and more pain this is going to cause all of you.
And before any of you say that it's different and we had a happy marriage, blah, blah, blah,... this site exists because these problems exist and on one wants to admit this stuff can happen but in the end it does.
Honesty is the first step, acknowledging this is happening and this problem is real.
She is feeling a tremendous amount of guilt right now but is still torn about a decision on whether or not to stay married or to enjoy a single life which may include relationships with other men. On top of feeling tremendous guilt which may include crying, not being to function/work, get out of bed and do the things she normally used to do, I'm sure her behavior from time to time may involve looking at you and being angry, cold, distant and appearing somewhat more aggressive & defensive.
Nothing may have happened yet, that may be a possibility and it may be that she is torn between starting something new with someone else or staying with you. Her image of life has been destroyed by her midlife crisis, coupled with the fact that she may be hanging out with "new" girl friends who introduce her to "new" people which may involve drinking, partying, dancing, flirting and experience things that she may not be able to experience if she remains married to you now that she has experienced the death of a parent and is seeing that life is finite, she knows what it means to be mortal, that we don't live forever and if that's the case, she may be thinking that her life up to this point has not satisfied every thing she has ever wanted.
Yes you have a great marriage or had one. You had everything: the kids, the home, the cars, some money and now that everything has been achieved and there are no challenges left for her, what is left? Faced with the spectre of a boring life, she may be in search of something new & exciting. Don't take it personally though, she is in search of an elusive "new" feeling, she isn't looking for someone new, just the feeling that comes with something new.
There is so much more that I can talk about on this specific issue, if you're interested and want to know more, let me know. Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because it hurts but it's also the thing that may save you from more pain down the road.
Either way Good Luck Beno.
p.s. from the stuff I've been reading, space is not the answer, in fact giving her space will just be making this problem worse.
