Oh my goodness, lady.. Why take a shower of bitterness, anger every day?
Did you ever read "Not JUST Friends"? That changed my perspective on ex's affair. In one section it speaks about forgiveness, that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Why? Because bitterness, which is pain in another form, can wreak more havoc than your ex-spouse's actions.
What he did hurt deeply. What you're doing now is going deeper and farther than any of his actions ever could. It doesn't hurt him that you're in misery. It might even make him feel better (if you even happen to cross his thoughts). Just remember, you're giving him prime real estate in your mind. Is that what's best for you?
I often thought of Katrina victims. They had no clue that their homes, city would be so deeply destroyed, wiped out. Now their situation really sucked. I looked at mine.. I have my health, my children, my family. I lost the lifestyle I once had but what I have is mine. Stuff, material possessions, are just that.. stuff. What is important is what's intrinsic, what's within you.. your love, your goodness, your smile, how you care and give. Dust off your sunshine for a day or two. Give yourself a sponge bath of happiness in between those angry showers and compare the difference.
