Sitting, waiting, wishing... #60

[BobbiJo]

Are you thinking of 'flabbergasted'?

So you feel that he sees you as a check-off mark on his to-do list, it that about right?

"Oops, didn't talk to Maria yesterday. Here, I will call her for 90 seconds, sound happy, make a joke or something, apologize--check. Now i am good to go for the day..." That must stink, actually I know from experience that it feels pretty awful...

Sorry sis. Want to come to Disney with me? I could kick H out of the trip and put you in, and add your kids?? Our resort is Carribbean Pirate-themed!

[MichelleLT]

What makes you think he didn't see the e-mail yet and that he didn't call in response to it? To try and make a little time for you?

Just because he didn't mention your e-mail or admit he'd seen it, doesn't mean that wasn't a reaction to it.

Obviously it could also have nothing to do with it.

Just saying it's possible either way.

And either way, I'm glad he made the effort to call.

And no, you shouldn't settle. He needs to sleep less!

[john210]

Hey Maria...you heard me say it before unfarkenacceptable!!!! I don't care if your H is a spy for the CIA ..posing as a journalist with two jobs...I talk to my sister as much as he talks to you!
There i go with my negativity....again. It does not make any sense...he has to be working on plan B.
Ok...now that I have calmed down, let me ask you again....did (or do) you call him???

[AliSuddenly]

Yeah, I agree with Michelle.. it seems too 'sus' that he called and was all "HI!" sorry I didnt call I was WORKING.. he must have seen your pie, he's just too embarressed/avoidant to say anything ? (or yet?).

I agree with John also.. you keep saying he doesnt call.. but do you still feel stuck in teh mindset that he has to do ALL the running/calling/inviting to do stuff, because he is the one that left, so should be making the signs he wants you? Can you phone him on days he hasnt called??

[Kalni]

NO ALI, ITS NOT BECAUSE HE LEFT. It's because the HE IS THE one with LESS AVAIBLE TIME. I could go shopping for our godchildren today with him (Easter time), go for a coffee, take our kids to a playground, go out to dinner. He has an OPEN INVITATION for every Friday night, I 've been sending him all the interline offers I get as airport personnel for trips, one for Dumbai for 50euros round trip for God's sake,one for Rome, one for Germany, I've been sitting waiting for him to find some time and he doesnt even have time to CALL ME!!!

He hasnt seen the email yet. He tells me when he does.Although he had told the kids he would pick up from school tomorrow when I reminded him, he tried to say he couldnt make it and then when I said I thought it was arranged and didnt take a day off since my parents wont be here, he puffed and said "OK then I will do it". When he first came back he said it was difficult cause they were letting people go, I should be patient, then he said they printing a new in the newspaper section he needed to work hard for, then they had a new Chairman at the morning job, now he is working on another [censored] project... It's work, work work.

There is no excuse.

[Kalni]

Disney sounds great Bbj. Maybe I could get him to pay for it... That's why he is working, right?

[AliSuddenly]

Ok, ok, I get it, dont shout !! Lol. BUT.. I see what yuo are saying, he has an OPEN invitation and he doesnt make time.. but that still doesnt really answer why you dont pick up the phone and call him, to say hi, to say good morning, good night.. or.. is he not allowed to take personal calls at either job, so you have to wait for him to phone you? I'm sorry.. but you said you hadnt spoken since Sunday! I guess me and Michelle were asking, so how come you dont phone him ? (regardless of whether HE is making time to spend with you or not, which he isnt of course). Whats stopping you calling him tonight before you go to bed? See? Why dont you do that...just because he doesnt?? Is it pride? Are you resentful? Cant be botherd? Or.. just so used to it, its become normal, but you were hoping and waiting for him to change, to start calling you!?

I dont think he's working for money.. it feeds his soul, for some reason (nope, dont get it).

[MichelleLT]

I dont think he's working for money.. it feeds his soul, for some reason (nope, dont get it).

I totally concur.

I also don't get it.

But it makes him feel successful, it ties in to his self-esteem somehow.

[Kalni]

With all the respect girls, my H is a much simpler person. He enjoys it. His work is ...football!! A man's heaven. He talks about it even when he is not at work. He watches, discusses... There was a time when he would call and tell me how he missed me and wanted to come home to me.Years ago. Many years ago. He cant take the kids fulltime. He cant the stress/obligation to keep me happy. He cant be bothered. It's too damn difficult for him. He wants things to be eaaaaasy.
That's all. I bet you the GF got the boot when she became "difficult" or he got the boot when he didnt "do" anything. He is loosing me. This time for good.

[Kalni]

FYI, I sent him 2 emails - short ones- explaining how hurt I feel and how I dont get his attitude towards this reconcilliation. How I cant get it with my head or heart. I ended the last one telling him he is loosing me and that maybe that is exactly what he wants.
I doubt I will get any answers/talks about them. I wasnt mad and tried to use I instead of You (most of the times)...