Thanks, Karen. Great advice on the all caps thing. H does think I'm always fighting with him so yeah I don't want to fight via texting either.
So update/journal: last night one of my fears came through... the alarm system went off in the middle of the night about 1am. This happened once before at like 3am when H was home and he fixed it but I was terrified then. So when H left I was always afraid of the system tripping in the middle of the night when I'm home alone and low and behold it did. Seems that the phone company was having problems with the phone line in the area and caused the system to go off. But, guess what, I was calm/a bit nervous but not as nervous as I thought I would have been. I called the alarm company and after an good wait on the phone they said they were informed of the phone company's problem. She told me what I needed to do when phone service is restored. It restored about 20 minutes later, but I sure was nervous not having the alarm system on for even such a short time. I gotta say I sure did miss having H there to protect me and make me feel safe. But I did alright, no panic attacks. It took a while to go back to sleep though.
Yea, I think today I am going through withdrawal myself. Feel like I miss H. But I do know I can't contact him so I will try my bestest to be strong. I definitely think the process is good for me to stand up for myself so I gotta do this. This is so like breaking a drug addiction. You know its bad for you but the craving is so hard to resist.
