Dear SH....I read your post and find it a powerful one indeed. There is nothing I can add here as you seem to have a good handle on what is going on. To a newbie here, the letter would be seen as a wonderful expression of love and standing. In some ways, it is still pursuit and pressure. But...I am not criticizing you.

I think that you waited....and picked an appropriate time to take a risk...a last chance attempt to recover what you had. Sadly, many of our W's who make that decision simply cannot turn that 'off'. Whether it be pride, losing face or just long-term hurt....they hold onto that decision. Try to forgive yourself for whatever ills you blame yourself for and release any self-blame or self-victimization.

In the midst of a nasty divorce, I may not be the right person to be posting advice here. I can say that there are many times that I wonder...wonder...what would happen if tried your route one more time...but...I have....many times over and over and met the same obstacles.

Only you can know what is best for you. From the tone and content of your letter, it sounds as if it is time to totally let go and try to regain some semblance of a normal life. It is time to enjoy living again. I WILL say though, that, in so doing, I think it is your best chance at reconciling with her. At this point, she would have to find out on her own that she is going to lose forever..that man...who wrote that letter above. Whatever happens, you'll be OK. Find some solace in knowing that the content of your heart.....is overflowing.

Stay strong and know that...even where I am today...I become better and stronger by reading the efforts of men such as yourself.

G-d bless.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;