Patience? What is that? This is the biggest lesson of all for me. I am the least patient person I know. I want what I want when I want it, the end. I'm learning that it can't always be on my time table and I can't always make things happen the way that I want them to.
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In my sitch it seems like initially it draws them in and then they pull away again probably because they don't trust it. What are your thoughts on that? Has he had any reactions good or bad?
Initially when he saw what I've done around the house he thought it looked really good and made the house look better. Later on he told me it made him feel uncomfortable and like he didn't belong here.
The first time I went out he encouraged me to go and have fun. This past weekend I went out and at first he was like oooh, you have plans. That turned into you're supposed to be home miserable being said in a joking way. Then he became upset that I was going out and tried getting me to pick up the kids. When that didn't work he became angry and rude. Later he told me that I looked really hot and teased me about how many men I intimidated and how he would have been scared to talk to me if he had seen me out.
I have no clue if those are good or bad reactions, lol. I thanked him and played along with the good stuff and totally ignored the bad stuff. I think he started out in a positive way for both situations because he was glad that I was seemed to be moving on and it may have made him feel like I finally got that we're over. Then when he actually had time to think about it he became negative because he realized that I'm doing well without him and may not need him afterall. I don't think he was expecting me to be ok so soon after him leaving. His joke about me being miserable may have been based in some truth. I think that a lot of WAS have a need to feel wanted and important by the LBS even if it's just to feed their own ego. Plus, I think it's a safety net for them. It's like they're thinking, well if this doesn't work then at least he/she's waiting for me to come home. When we don't act like we're just sitting at home counting the minutes it throws them off.
I'm definitely doing a whole lot better than I was even a week ago. It's because I've finally been GAL and doing things for me and the kids without him as the focus. Little by little I'm not just acting as if, it's a true mindset. If he doesn't come home I will be ok. I may miss him, but I won't die like I initally thought when the bomb was dropped.
