A big traumatic event tends to make people question their lives. Is this all there is? Is there something better out there? If I am unhappy there must be something or someone to blame. Unfortunately, in this case she is probably putting the blame on you. She probably feels like she needs to find out if there is something out there that makes her happier etc.
It's sad to say, but human nature makes us all do that to some extent. I've been through it. The hardest thing for you to do now, (letting her have that space, no questions asked) is probably the thing that will give you the best chance of regaining what you had. It sounds so crazy. I was there, text bombing, calling, following, all of it. When I finally found the strength to follow Michelle's advice in the book, it all turned around. IT WILL BE HARD. IT WILL BE PAINFUL. It also can work.
Try to find things to do that will occupy your time. Boredom and time alone are KILLERS for you. Read, write down your thoughts, make a list of goals, and most importantly, leave her alone. Take it one day at a time, don't think about forever, just that day. Get through that day, and do the same thing the next, and so on. You don't have to live without your wife forever, just today (string enough today's together and you will start to find the peace that let's you do what is necessary to succeed).
Best to you
I can't be the guy I was. Why would I want to. I don't want to go back to the way things were. That's what got me here.
