I have to ask...who is paying for the house? I would insist that you go back. Right now she's got all the cards and you've got nothing. The first rule is NEVER leave the home. She wants out of the R, then she should be the one to leave.
In terms of her blaming you for being controlling. That's a theme that alot of WASs have. Some true, some not. My W accused me of being the same and I believed her until I "woke up" and figured out that she was controlling me. That's when I called her out on her bluff and promptly kicked her butt out of the house.
Sometimes the WAS blames the LBS for shortcomings or faults that they see in themselves. They actually transfer all their insecurities to the LBS. It's very typical.
Your W now is cake eating. Take charge and get your life back. If not, then the OM is going to be enjoying your house, your kid, your W. How would you like that?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
