Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[kjensen]

Ok so more processing going on my head.

Because I've read so many books with different takes on getting past affairs and such I think I've had a hard time reconciling all the expert advice.

Here's what I've begun to understand (Aha moment!)-let me know if I'm wrong..
Even though many of us are dealing with OP and A in our spouses lives, because the animal we're dealing with is MLC, we aren't necessarily best served by the traditional expert advice( discussing/sharing feelings/working thru the affair-creating a joint 'story)..maybe this works in piecing once the spouse comes home, but I 'm not up on that part of the process yet...

So we do the DB method of distancing, doing 180's, NOT talking about the A/OP..b/c doing the traditional pushes the MLCer away.

I think I've kept being sucked into my H seeming to be normal and reasonable and I'd switch to the traditional methods. I think b/c of today, my husband seeming truly 'different'/alien that it is MLC I'm dealing with and I just need to deal with all the hurt/suspicion/grief/forgiveness on my own, by myself.

Is that a correct take on this MLC animal?-seems like I thought I had it, but didn't really until now.