Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[kjensen]

THANK YOU JACK!
Haven't gone home for lunch yet. Have been reading ImLin's thread, trying keep strength to NOT bring up the zillion questions, not bring up one. I am determined to LISTEN if he decides to talk. To validate.

I think if he brings up separating bank accounts that is what we should do. I think to him it means the beginning of the end and it is my guess that he thinks its the prelude to a divorce. As one of my friends put it-it is probably the easiest part of separating to do, and easiest to reverse-no harm trying...
He still hasn't told his family about him moving out...
I have made it clear(many times) that I can forgive him and get passed stuff/A/OW and I know I can(or you're right, I wouldn't be here), so your take on why he feels the opposite makes sense.

If you have advice on this situation please chime in...
I am going to a conference in San diego over mother's day weekend. When my H originally bought himself and the OW tickets for a San diego trip in 2/09. Then I discovered this and confrotned him-he admitted to A. He broke up with OW 2 days later after nervous breakdown(didn't go on trip with her).. He switched tickets to his and my names for my conference dates(we planned to stay 2 extra days for some fun)5/7 to 5/11.
Well, tickets are still good, hotel reservations made. I'm going with or without him, although i would like to come back early if its without him so I can be with my girls on Mother's day and not in a big city by myself..I haven't brought up trip in quite awhile and H has since rekindled his A with OW(although said last night no future seen with her)..
So my questions is should I bring it up, if so, when-last minute?..What scenario would be most likely get a positive response, how should I bring it up, what framing should I use?? Any thoughts jack or anyone else out there?