Burt is exactly right. I wish I had his strength right now. I have told myself I will keep my situation until May 1st and then tell her we need to try together in the house.
I will make one comment about noticing change. We have been separated for 3 months (just to note this came out of nowhere like a big bomb… one day life as usual… next day boom!) and I have done serious soul searching and making changes for “me”. We don’t spend much time together, but she commented to a friend this weekend that she can’t believe how I have changed. If you “change you to change your marriage” whether you are right next to each other or distant… they will notice… I read that somewhere… hmmmm
I just want to say I feel like me saying “I have changed” makes it look like it is all my fault, but it is not. We had a great marriage, but we got busy. We both earned several degrees in our 15 years together. My daughter competed at the state level in gymnastics and my son is very active in sports/friends. The only issue with my marriage is “WE” did not spend enough time together. Her fault and mine. But, I will change first, for me. Then maybe, just maybe she will come around.
Like Burt said… her fear is that the change is not permanent, to which I worry about her saying that. The reason is “Two” changes need to happen and she needs to be willing to go with me on this journey. Any advice from anyone on how to deal with that?
Me - 35 W - 32 (EA with OM) M - 13 1/2 D - 11 S - 9 ILYBNILWY - January 2009 Status - Limbo
