still sane (keeping my sanity follow-on)

[Yoyowife]

Hope,
I think many of us have had the feeling of being a bad parent during this crisis.

It seems the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You want to fall apart, but you know you have to be strong for you children and try to hide your emotions. I don't know how many times I had to fight back tears. My DD who was 15 at the time would ask me what was wrong. I would tell her I was really tired, I did not want her to know what a wreck I was for fear of upsetting her more.

You also go through worrying that you aren't being a good parent. I remember thinking if she gets in trouble or something happens to her it will all be my fault and he will get custody of her. This was all the while he had absolutey no responsibilities as far as child rearing went. He could go and do whatever he wanted. If he wanted to go off for the weekend, he just went. He hardly ever saw or called her. I on the other hand had to always be home to make sure that DD was taken care of. Teenagers will be teenager, and I was not going to leave her unsupervised.

DD is almost 18 now. I must say that she has turned out well, even if it means tooting my own horn. It was a time of turmoil for her, but she stayed on the right path. She will be going to college in the fall and is looking forward to it. Although I'm excited for her, I will miss her immensely. One thing that has come out of this, is the close relationship that we have developed.

It was ironic that over spring break DD went to FL with some friends. When she called and asked her dad's permission (yes, I told her to), he made the comment, "Behave yourself, you know I raised you right." Of couse DD and I thought, "yeah, right". They know who has been there for them.

You and your DD will be fine. She will continue to love and respect you. It's not your fault that she wants nothing to do with her dad right now. He is the man that she loves and looked up to. He has let her down. Hopefully, their relationship will improve.

Hugs, Yoyo