. . . Again, ideally, it would be great for them to work as a team and figure it out together. To come clean, and build trust. But, I believe (all speculation) that she is just finally closing that door, a door she probably didn't realize consciously she was keeping open. I don't think she thought it was harmful to continue speaking to the OM (or any OM) since she knew she wouldn't ever be with him again. He told her "no contact" and she feels like she hasn't. She has stopped any "meaningful" contact in her mind. NOw, after the talk, she took the glass down, and is maybe looking at the fact that Hope would NOT be happy if she was still in any sort of contact with OM. Before, she thought it was probably ok, and now he pretty much verbalized how he felt. There's no hiding behind "well, I didn't think this was a big deal".
H4U, correct me if I'm wrong, but you HAVE let her know that it "was a big deal" -- many times -- haven't you? Yes, it was followed by "peaceful" periods in which she may have interpreted that you were "okay" with some of it, but you made yourself VERY clear to her, several times, before -- didn't you?
WDID, thanks for the response. This helps me understand what she is thinking/rationalizing.
