Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

Hi Lucas, thanks for visiting my little world. Hope your situation pans out for the best.

That said, update:

Didn't hear from kids since Wednesday night "visit", when I saw them this Saturday they said she wouldn't let them use her phone, ugh.

Anyway, Saturday morning went to the mandated parenting class on how to help your children cope with the stress caused by divorce and what to do and not do. Man oh man, when she goes to hers next week, if she's upset now, she really going to be upset come next Saturday and i fully expect her to be calling me and balling her head off uncontrollably. Why? Because every thing thrughout the class that was covered, technique and approach, I have done spot on for my kids. And the final moral of the t whole calss is exactly what I 've told her ever since day one when she left and EVERY time she bluffs thinking of reconcilling and I say "I wish you would" followed by "our relationship may be over, but you need to remember, this is the rest of THEIR LIVES that will forever be affected by this". Quoted to a T in class.

Also, one of the videos they show will also shed light to her on what it is like to grow up with divorced/seperated parents as I did, so that will be a two-fold reality check.

And lastly, if she is indeed blind to the emotional strain she has put our children under by lving with OM right off the bat, right in front of them as I begged her not to, that is going to tear her to shreds when it hits home and she comes to understand why I am fighting for custody of them.

i can't wait to see/hear about her experience with it.

Anyways, I am goin gto try and keep this short, but she left for her brother's house apparently in the middle of the night Friday and didn't even tell the kids she was going. Left them in the care of her alcoholic uncle, real nice, but responds to a text that I can pick them up at the police station at 1:30 as "agreed" earlier in the week, I never agreed, I didn't trust it.

So I went to the PD and went over everything and they said it's fine as long we agree to it. So I took them, went skateboarding again, they had fun. Got em a couple new outfits (that blew her away). We were pressed on time, so I took up her offer to keep them until 9 instead of 7. So, we're playing football in the PD parking lot at 8:50 waiting for her to get them, and S10 who's been working on his passing form, threw a perfect tight pass at point blank range, right in to my nose and broke it. He was so amazed, he was expecting me to be screaming at him, which I didn't. LOL, the first thing I said after clearing the birds from my head was "nice form on that one".

Anyway, we continue pass around for a bit and I check the time and it's 9:10, so I call her and leave a message wondering what was going on. She called back a few minutes alter and said she overslept, yeah, ok what ever, get off OM, put your clothes on and let's go. She couldn't even look me in the face when she picked them up. Oh, and s10's latest assignment in his worst class is missing no thanks to her, she has managed to screw up every one of that poor kids projects all year long so far. He voluntarily worked on it at my house on Saturday to get it done. But now all his research is lost so I had to give her his library card and we were all of 2 feet apart and she couldn't look at me?

Oh, then yesterday S12 calls me on his phone a couple time during the day. The final time, they were left in the house unattended while STBX & OM went to get coffee. Nice, see you in court honey.

My transforation this past few weeks finally makes sense and mostly came to a realization in the parenting class. I accept it now, I've gone through my phases in various order and now I accept. I love the woman and I always will. I forgive her for what she's done as she's not solely at fault. I accept I can not change her nor can anyone else. She will answer the prosecution of her own conscience when that day comes.

On a last note, got s10 a HUGE suprise "present". In passing our time at our house last summer when she left, I started to teach him to cook/grill. When I moved, I left my propane grill, but cousin has a charcoal one so I settled to just use that. s10 refuses to cook on saying he's scared. So, yesterday, found a hell of deal on a nice stainless steel grill and snagged it up for him. Can't wait to see the look on his face. And no, i'm not trying to "buy his love" or anything, I already have that without any monetary influence, she's the one that' been wowing them by showering them with random gifts and constantly eating out or something.