My weekly update. So my H was supposed to come over Saturday. No call, no show, so I painted instead. I called him at 4pm or so & yes, he answered. He told me of his work developements & then said he had to go see Bob. He asked me if Sunday was ok to come over instead, I said sure.
So today, I finished what I wanted to paint & did some misc things around the house. 2pm rolls around & no word from H. I called him & left him a message " So what do you know? Have you decided on your plans today? Well give me a call if you have a chance today, talk to ya later, bye". He calls back a bit later & says he will be over & a bit. I say, about what time & ask if pizza is ok w/him to eat. Yep, it was. He called a bit later & said he was running late & on his way. Which was good, cuz that gave me time to get the pizza ready & our martinis.
So he gets here, dogs are barking, one is running circles around him she's so excited. Pretty much chaos as usual!! It seems he's a bit hung over from hanging out w/Bob last night. So we have our drink & chit chat, talking about his work & misc things. It's all quite relaxed like we were old friends. The only R talk was me telling him he has to go to the D court hearing when it's assigned. We eat, play dice & chat some more. Then we go upstairs & he starts packing his space toys. Some co-workers are interested in buying some of his vintage toys. He doesn't seem as depressed or hopeless as he did last week about his debts, which is good. We joke around a bit about his toys & chat some more. I cop a feel on his bum when he bends over Then I give him a head massage for his headache. We finish packing & taking it to his car. When he's about to leave I give him a hug, we kiss several times & I say it's good seeing you as always. We walk out to his car where we hug & kiss again.
So all in all a very, very nice evening. Exactly how I wanted it to be.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Hey Julia & Michelle, thanx for the kind words & encouragement. I think the positives will keep going. There's no whys or wheres or wonders left to ask. What's done is done.
Strange though, I gave my H a wall plaque that was his & then said he could take other pictures (not picture of us) that were his when he moved in (before we M). He said well, you like them too, so you can keep them. I said no, there yours & you should have them. Just makes me wonder at times if he thinks of coming back some day. Really, it's quite unimportant, but just very odd.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
His motivation to leave me with things was a combination of wanting to travel light and guilt. That is, he wanted to be able to feel like the good guy. So he left me with stuff that enabled him to tell himself and his OW that he was treating me properly.
Not saying that's what your H is doing, just saying that's what my H did.
It's funny how the same actions can sometimes come from such different motivations.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Yeah and my ex did the same.. left everything, we had a whole house full of stuff, chosen/bought together, some of it his doing/choice but he left the lot. He was agonised over even taking a pillow and duvet set but I was super ok about that, so he relented, with a pained look on his face. Thats all he took, that and what he came into the R 9 years ago with.. his stereo, a box of photos pre-our R, books and clothes.. oh and half his cd's. Dont want to 'disrupt' us too much I guess.
So... when you say you hugged and kissed, do you mean, he kissed your cheek, as friends, or was it a full on tongue sarnie !? Seems he is comfortable to hang out with you ! Sounds like you had a really good evening with him.
Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
