Good question. Communication is a biggie for them. Hope's wife's biggest conflict is within herself. If she can't face it herself, she can't face it with him. She needs to figure out how she feels about everything. Again, ideally, it would be great for them to work as a team and figure it out together. To come clean, and build trust. But, I believe (all speculation) that she is just finally closing that door, a door she probably didn't realize consciously she was keeping open. I don't think she thought it was harmful to continue speaking to the OM (or any OM) since she knew she wouldn't ever be with him again. He told her "no contact" and she feels like she hasn't. She has stopped any "meaningful" contact in her mind. NOw, after the talk, she took the glass down, and is maybe looking at the fact that Hope would NOT be happy if she was still in any sort of contact with OM. Before, she thought it was probably ok, and now he pretty much verbalized how he felt. There's no hiding behind "well, I didn't think this was a big deal".
She may eventually come clean and build this new relationship from sharing those details. But, I can't stress enough how difficult it is to just get past what she did. And, I really think she is just trying to do that.
Ok, so to get back to what you specifically were asking- HOnesty, transparency, and trust can't be built if she is continually hiding something. She may not be following the process the best way, or "correct way", but she is trying to get there "her way". It's not the best path, but it can still lead her to a good ending. Her affair was not the best way to get Hope's attention or to bring their problems to the surface, but it did. Their ending still can be a happy one.
