Love Is Whatever You Can Still Betray

[Greek]

You're already an ass in her opinion so you can't go wrong here. JOKE! Just kidding although I guess the morsel of truth is that she MAY indeed already think that and you can't control that anyway

Thank you for the visual on the office. That helps. So she comes in and the topic is not one that you want to be involved with. I can picture you gently interrupting with a hand held out in front of you, "That is your business." OR "I'm not a contributor to that decision". No shouting. Clear. Controlled. She's in the corporate/business/professional world. She can handle it. What she wants at home from you is Oprah - cut that off. Make it business when it comes to the moves she is making which will result in your family being broken. You DO NOT have to be understanding or sympathetic or helpful with any effort she makes to leave the marriage. Gently interrupt and cut it off. I believe she is disrespectful to you in telling you those kinds of things. Insist that she observe your boundaries.

Listen and validate when SHE references your R. Talking to you about her realtor's happy divorced life is not R. Talking to you about hurt feelings she has toward something you did or said in the past = a great opportunity to say "I'm listening. Go on... I can see how you'd feel that way..." You surely can tell the difference between the business of getting out of the marriage and the business of peeling back layers to understand what's gone wrong in the marriage. Understand what's gone wrong - listen and validate - b/c she needs you to and guess what! YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, TOO! Win, win These kinds of conversations, definitely do NOT interrupt - gently or otherwise. Say as little as possible. Listen. Look at her. Remember she is hurting and you cannot fix her. Listen and learn.

Cheers ~