Love Is Whatever You Can Still Betray

[Coach]

SP,

And, perhaps more importantly, given what I've done in GAL and 180, how might I modify my DB approach to keep the DB going?

You are DBing great in the GAL arena. Two areas I see to work on, detaching and validating. You talk all about your W in your posts expecting her to change. It's not a linear equation - if I do this then she will do that. Do the things you want to do because they are beneficial for you. What we DAM/LBS don't realise is how far ahead of us our Ws are when it comes being detached. All the podperson talk is her just being detached, it's a coping mechanism. That's why people look for someone to validate their feelings(the BFF, WAR) when we are hurting and confused. If you repeat things she has told you that have been issues for you two then you validate her hurt feelings.
So how to validate- when she told you "things would be tough." JUMP all over that. "I agree things will be tough for you, the kids and me. I understand why you feel that way."

"who knows what might happen,"

"W I don't know what will happen, I just want you to be happy. If I have caused you to be unhappy then I will accept responsibility for it and work on whatever shortcomings I have to be a better man."

"if we found that we were crazy about each other again I wouldn't resist it,"

"I feel the same the way. I would love the opportunity to be the man you are crazy about. I am working to make myself irresistible to you." Read "His Needs Her Needs" great description on how to become irresisitible.

You really have to listen to validate, you are great with words use it to your advantage.

So. Given this. What would be an observable, small change?

She gets mad, sad, confused, looks at you like you are a pod person, reaches out, affection, wants to spend time with you, etc. So hard to see from your perspective.
DBing is hard work takes emotional, logical, spiritual and physical energy. So don't waste energy on negative things. Think thru your actions to avoid getting too emotional. Pray for wisdom and understanding. You can handle it.
Cheers
Coach