Detaching has various meanings, the overall ideal behind it though is for your spouse to be able to carry on doing what they are with their own lives (children are not included in that) and that will NOT affect how you spend your time or thoughts.
They need to know that you will carry on doing YOUR thing for YOU regardless of what they do to try and upset you.
It is to allow you to focus and retain the remainder of the love you have left without them removing even that.
In my case, despite total blackout from Jan to Apr, my W still managed to kill off my love for her with her actions and words.
It's a fine line and not an easy thing to acheive.
