Ali, can you replace the word "hard" with "fear" and then try to explain or put words to those fears. Like are you afraid of losing him---then you can rationalise that fear. Pushing him away Making him make/reach a decision etc etc.
Would the person he loved, the old you that is now you again have been spontanious (sp) or cautious. I think she wore her heart on her sleeve and shared it with the world. Like Rob said you have zero to lose.
