First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

Wow, that was some weekend.

I've never seen so many mood changes in one 2 1/2 day period in all my life.

It started Friday when she got home from work and continued until I went to bed last night. Wild mood swings multiple times per day, some within a few minutes. I just sat back and observed.

She spent probably 5 total hours this weekend, maybe more than that, sitting on the couch looking at some split ends in her hair or staring out of the doors into the back yard.

Sunday morning she was in a pretty good mood after she got up. At one point she was messing around on the computer and I looked over and she was checking her email on her personal account. She opened an email, looked at it for a few seconds and then closed it and got out of the email quickly. Who knows what it was?

Another part I struggle with is how everything points to her wanting us together, but at the same time, not being willing to do what's necessary for us to have a chance. And I don't know if it's the A messing with her head or it's mentapause and her hormones are a ragin or a combo of both.

It's hard not to think she's up to no good. I could be totally off base, but I did a lot of thinking this weekend and I don't think I want to be with her when she thinks that secrecy is ok in a marriage. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she's just like her mother and if that's what she's learned as acceptable in a marriage, then am I just wasting my time? Because it's not acceptable to me.

I feel like I'm the back up plan. Like she's continuing to "act" like she's trying, but in reality isn't and then when S16 graduates in a year, she'll say "see, it isn't working, I want a D" and that's it.

I don't know. I'm not going to do anything drastic right now. I know she's in a messed up place. But how long can I keep it up?

I do know I'm looking forward to being out of town beginning Wed night. I'm hoping the 4 nights away give me some clarity in what I want.

Talk to ya soon.