HELP! Is ML to try to reconnect a mistake?

[trampledheart]

Hi Lola,

Thanks for your advice and insight.

Since H became inconsistent in the providing any funds from Aug/Sept 08, I got an attorney and petitioned for a legal separation at the end of Feb 09 but I still haven't served him yet. I did this so that I could then ask the courts for temporary spousal support.

No doubt my H finds independent, strong woman attractive, in fact, I think that's why he's with this OW now. Their earnings are/were probably about the same, she may have even made more than H since she was hired and sent over here by the European parent company... Having been a stay at home mom that occasionally worked part time here and there, I wouldn't be able to earn 1/4 of what they each earn independently. I also found, while working a short-time contract job, that a demanding full time job is nearly impossible for me while going through this emotional time. Maybe if I found a less demanding job or a part time job...

Snooping is not a good thing but since he was so secretive about everything, and never communicated anything at all, I tried to find out what was happening. There was a point in time where may daughter and I had no idea where he even lived! He never initiated any contact.

Initially his complaint was that I shouldn't have to know any of his communications with his 32-year-old female boss, he said that it's not my business. He spent 80% of his time with her, traveling together, and also at the office. He became disconnected from our family-life and me, and became extremely connected with her. His main complaint after he left our home was that I wasn't taking any steps to become financially independent of him. I probably do come across as pushy, needy, begging, pleading, and sometimes psycho when he's extremely selfish. We fight mostly over his lack of sufficient financial support.

We do not have any phone contact at all. In fact, that’s what started all this in the first place! He had stopped answering my calls while on a 5-day business trip with her... Now, he only responds to emails or text messages, that is, if he chooses to reply...

Thank you for offering to keep up on my posts, I appreciate your advice and help. I think that maybe by my responses to your posts, I'll be able to give you more insight into my situation.

I also hope others will give me their points of views and support as well.

Thank you all and hope we all overcome these hard times together...