My heart goes out to you. I understand exactly how you feel... I have felt that way so many times. It is odd that I can look at your sitch and wonder why so much hinges on this one man for you, yet I can't see the same for myself. That was me that requested you on FB, by the way, so now I know how absolutely gorgeous you are! I just know that there are good things out there for you...you just have to believe!
4 OW's should tell you something.....
No, it shouldn't be this way, and yes, it sucks. I wonder all of the time why I just can't have my family. But, then I am reminded of all of the things I have been forced to do because of this situation, and I see how much I have grown. I doubt that you would want to go back to who you were...much like I wouldn't. Cagz, I would love for my XH to see that I am different and to see that things would work between us, as I am sure you would. But, sweetie, THEY are no different. So would it really work?
Hugs to you. I am so sorry that you are in pain. I hope for sunnier days ahead.
