(((Amy))) - I should have said along with my handing everything over to God, I also gave him free reign to do the best thing He has for me. I told him it didn't matter WHAT it was! And I mean it - I'm sort of excited to see what he has for me. I'm just gonna keep plugging along!
I know exactly the moments you're describing - we always used to take our kids to a local indoor jungle gym, and now that's what OM and W do once a month. I don't take the kids there anymore!
Maybe this'll help a little - the novelty wears off. I remember when D8 described OM as her "second Dad". It felt like a punch in the stomach - but now she barely mentions him. In the beginning, when he came over and brought his kids, the kids would tell me all about it, and how fun it was, and etc - now, if you ask them how their week was, they don't even mention them coming over. In the beginning, OM was funny and shy and nice and had fun playmate kids and nine tattoos - now, the kids aren't negative on him, but they want Mommy and ME to get back together, and have started really pushing it hard.
I don't know what will happen, but I do know that I have kept back the bitterness and anger at least in front of the kids, and I know you do too! Keep that up!
Also, the going dark is hugely helpful - very hard at first, but after awhile, it really starts to relieve that constant pressure.
I am not nasty, or unkind, but I don't contact W at all unless I have a question about homework or a change in schedule.
