I add my regrets too. Life itself isn't easy as it is and our now ex's just seem to go out of there way to make it worse. Have you been documenting everything in regards to the boys and your interactions with her over them? I pray that she realizes that she is using the boys against you and stops the craziness.
Hugs to you my friend.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I can't imagine keeping up all that anger she has.
xW has proven that she is now taking after her mother in so many things. Like mother, like daughter,as the say. And as such, I have no doubts she will manage just fine keeping up her anger and blaming her ex-H's for all the misery in her life. MIL has turned that into lifelong pursuit, the only thing she has ever been successful at.
At one time I mourned the loss of the person I once loved to that sad malady that has infected xW's soul. But now, with the D final, even though I do feel a smidgen of compassion for her, I have been freed from thinking her fate is at all my concern any longer. In fact, I now have to look out for my own self -- and my family -- and keep moving forward once again. I do believe that God has taken her and her personal issues out of my concerns from now on. And as you have said, she's done this to herself.
Have you been documenting everything in regards to the boys and your interactions with her over them? I pray that she realizes that she is using the boys against you and stops the craziness.
I do too, naturally. As far as me documenting everything, I try to do what I can.
Thanks for the hugs, ladies.
<journaling> I took the boys to see the musical of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang yesterday. We had a very good time.
Also we bought three new fish for the new Aquarium I had set up earlier this week. This was a reward for S8 having had a very good week during his last week before his year-round school tracked-out. Unfortunately one of them died today because we had tempted fate, it would seem (two of them were male Blue Gourami's who decided they didn't want to get along in our small tank. That was a foolish gamble for me to take, but S8 had to have two of them.)
I spoke with my brother last evening too, the one who is now separated from his W (my SIL). He seems okay, but he's not acknowledging that things are about as wrong in his family situation as they need be for him to start trying to turn his life around.
He also started inquiring into what my thoughts were for seeing other people, especially now my D is final. I get the impression that maybe he was trying to encourage himself to think he can now retake up his bachelorial lifestyle once again, and was feeling me out for the positives to his situation.
I told my brother that I try to keep such thoughts in check, because to do otherwise before I have healed my broken heart fully and completely -- and regained the full measure of myself as an individual -- is to court disaster. I don't think he was particularly encouraged to hear me say that I believe it would take me a long time, on the order of years, to heal my heart entirely from my xW's. I said that right now it would be unhealthy for me to take on the "baggage" of someone also still trying to recover from their ordeals -- and by the same toke, I don't want to bring any of my own excess baggage with me into any future relationships. I am just not someone any woman should be involved with as yet, and it would be unfair of me to ask someone to have to deal with me in that. I need to have jettisoned all that excess cr*p first -- and that takes time.
With God's help I will get there.
(But I would just as soon stay single the rest of my days as to risk another D in my life -- as I think the latter would kill me.)
Also, I went to a picnic in a local park today with my (mostly single-parent) friends, allowing the children to play together. It was a beautiful day and very enjoyable.
I would have loved your company! I wish all of you could have joined us. I am sure your two boys would have had loads of fun too.
You could also have brought your H so I could take the opportunity to knock some sense into his head. (I'd like to say to him something like, "Whaddya' thinkin', man?!? Just look at your lovely W there and count your lucky stars she loves you enough to put up with your foolishness!" )
