Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[cagzmom]

stupid stuff....
this weekend is the anniversary of ow moving in and slipping in bed with x (d12 called late ..sad..) it led to drama...

this weekend is the anniversary of the first time x actually said the words "i want a divorce..."

x has since "broke-up" with ow -affectionately known as bimbo..and has moved on to woman #4 (there were a couple in between the break up).

#4 - has 5 kids of her own. they broke up for a 2 week period but is back which causes jealousy with me --- hard to explain but its the truth

today was x's birthday

x's mom and husband were in town for a very short in and out..anyway met them for coffee...they were nice but it of course causes a bit of saddness.

x doesn't love me - and i know it

i dont believe that even God loves me... the ONLY time in my life I EVER truly felt loved was with x... and then now here I am... and he says he never did... LONG drawn out story -- but I am working through this one too.

so see - just lots and lots of ugh.