Just missing you guys a little!

[Amy M]

(((((Sam, Tawnya, pearl, and Jon))))) Love you guys...much!!!

Well, I had fun. And, now that's it's over, and I've had a little time to reflect on the night and the day, I'm very glad I went. So, Sam, in case you don't hear it enough...Sam, you were right!!!

On my way to meet my friends last night, I talked to Tawnya for a bit...she gave me this great house analogy that really made me feel better. And, I've thought about that all day today. I've also had the bits that pearl posted above (thanks, pearl, for taking the time to do that!!!) running through my mind all day. I read her post today before I left for shopping...it did my heart good as well.

I've been trying so hard not to be bitter that I've not allowed myself to "feel" much anger. So, when it comes (like last night), I get really upset about it. God and I are still working on that, and we'll get it sorted out. I don't have any doubt on that matter. And, Jon, God will come through for both of us...just maybe not in the manner we thought we wanted, right?

I called the boys last night at my normal time (on the drive to meet friends). They were with their dad at OW's house. Apparently, she'd made a cake for S4 for his birthday, and they were going to have a birthday party there. Both the boys were excited, and they didn't have much time to talk. That hurt, of course, but I made it through without turning the car around and heading back home for the pity party I had planned!!

When H got on the phone...I just said, "Wow, didn't take you long." He said, "What?" I was thinking, "You know what. You are such a freakin moron." But, what I said instead was, "Hope you guys have a nice evening with MY family." And, I hung up.

I knew he'd do it (have the boys stay over at her place more)...essentially he had already started it. But, I just didn't think he'd do it this weekend. I mean, he's meeting my mom and dad today to drop the kids off for their spring break trip to their house. I thought surely he'd be considerate enough not to have them spend the weekend with her so that they had that to talk about to my parents. I know that will be tough for Mom and Dad to hear...in some ways tougher than it is for me to hear. My mom and dad love him, and they are so hurt by what he's done.

But, oh, well! To quote M from Tennessee..."It is what it is!"

I had fun last night, and I ended up staying over at friends house. Pearl, glad to report no blisters! We went shopping today. No green shoes...we actually shopped for home stuff, and I bought a lot of that. I guess I've discovered that I can shop for anything and spend money.

I have cried every minute I've been alone today...until now. I'm better now...And, I'm allowing myself to be angry. So, that's likely better for me.

I started at least twice to call H...once about meeting my mom and dad and another time about his visit to the attorney tomorrow. I was thinking that it might be possible to fight the petition he gets from 1st ex-W if he signs my paper before he's actually served with her petition. But, I decided that I'm staying out of it. If I end up with less child support, so be it. I don't really need his money anyway.

I won't have to deal with him at all this week. He sees the attorney tomorrow. I go on Tuesday (thought I was going to be out of town tomorrow but the trip was canceled). Since the kids are with Mom and Dad, there's no reason to talk to him. That will be better. I don't want to talk to him angry!!! I actually don't want to talk to him at all.

Well, I'll check in on everybody else. Hope you all have had a good weekend.

Hugs and love!
Amy