The kids will be going to see grandparents from mid-May to mid-June. That means during the time I was supposed to be moving out, I will actually be alone in the house with her (assuming she doesn't move out). I'm trying to figure out if and how this will change dynamics.
I still get some occasional wishy-washiness over the decision to stay put. While I still want to stand my ground, I'm concerned about the position it puts her in. If she does indeed want space to sort things out then I want to make sure she understands her options and that I'm not trying to force anything or make life extremely difficult for her - only that it's my right to stay. She could easily move in with her friend for a while (who needs to find a permanent place anyway, not my house). I'm concerned if she feels trapped or extremely angry then she might end the whole thing. It's a risk I have to take.
My other concern is that she wants to see independence on my part. She was tired of taking care of my details. In her dream separation world, she was envisioning me in my own place running my own life. I'm hoping that standing my ground will show enough independence in that I don't have to have her approval on my actions. I'm also hoping my 180 and continued detachment will show I'm doing fine on my own no matter what roof I'm under.
The proposed move date is (was!) still over a month away so I guess I've got some time yet. Until then I'm remaining detached yet kind. I let her start the conversations and ask the questions. Seems to work well. We make small talk and get along fine although yesterday she seemed stressed and she complained she was tired, stomach hurt, etc. (I know these symptoms all too well from my own experience).
I'm thinking I'll make the "I'm staying" announcement in about a week or two (one month before the date). Not too early but not too late either.
Living each day happy.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
