Hey Rob...No, not ready to let him go! Not by a long shot, I feel like we are finally getting somewhere.. if we dont get anywhere once we finally getting somewhere, THEN I will give up! Its not yet 'time'..
Hey Mish, Simon..true, I have grown and am totally altered in the past 18 months. I guess we had 'no emotion' largely all those times we met over the past year... so perhaps we are a bit beyond that now? I also apologised profusely for the emotional/intense nature.. but he was VERY clear, its ok, its not your fault, I NEEDED to talk to you.. so things have shifted a bit maybe? But yes, I think I will send a 'light' text tommorow. Also, we are both going back to our hometown for Easter (him to get space/think/end it wih Helen I suspect) so there is a possibility of a lift.. but not if he wants some space from us both.
And yes, he said himself, he wanted me there.. and he wasnt ashamed to sit and hug me and talk and cry for an hour, when ALL of his mates (bar his house mate) in Cornwall and his brother were there that night.. how wierds that? They all know he is with Helen, so it was a pretty public showdown! And Yes! he falls into situations.. said so himself in November "things just happen to me, I dont choose it". And yes also, my Mum said, this "I dont want to upset anyone anymore" and staying with her just so he doesnt have to hurt her.. is the ultimate people pleasing act.. thats why I asked him.. but what about YOUR happiness??
Yes, he also said to G that only I really 'get him' and know him and Helen certainly doesnt.. so thats dissonance right there? We all want to be understood, cherished, desire to be ourselves.
So.. sit and wait now? Or maybe text him tommorow, or.. phone him (as he has given me his phone number). Its all a little frustrating, but it feels great to have finally told him I still love him and always will, but I will take friendship if thats all he's got to offer, but he has to let me know now..
