My ex did the same exact thing. He spoke to me in front of OW like I was nothing. Do not put up with it. It took me a while to get to that point. Anytime he started disrespecting me on the phone in anyway I said, "I'm sorry ex, but I no longer tolerate your disrespect. Call me when you you can be decent". It was only after this that he really started working on is behavior. They talk to us disrespectfully for a variety of reasons: 1) If they truly despise us, it justifies their reason for leaving 2) It impresses OW and for some odd reason they bond more 3) Makes them feel more in control 4) eases their insecurity (for 2 seconds) 5) way to release some of their anger
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Sounds good. I like your reply. I may just tell him when he starts, H, call me back when you can speak to me in a respectful tone. I have told him this a couple of times. I need to do it every time. That really pisses me off. I'm sure the 18yo gets off on him talking to me that way b/c it proves how much he looooovvvveeess her. LOL The funny thing is that when he is alone, he does not talk to me this way. It it probably purely for her benefit.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Former OW's kids go to the same school as ours, and xH would treat me with horrible disrespect in front of her at school meetings, etc (walking ahead of me, ignoring me, looking at me like I was an idiot if I talked to him). It was horrible. Finally I said something (tolerated it waaaay too long), started driving myself to functions, and doing my own thing at school. He laughed at me at first, but his behavior did change. Still makes me so angry that he treated me that way, but I suppose its script, classic behavior done for numerous reasons.
Uh. That stinks about the school. Where my h threatens to do this is at my S's games. He plays 3 sports, so we are always at some type of game. He has not brought her there thus far, but has threatened it numerous times. I am prepared for the day he does, and will just sit amongst my friends and pretend like I couldn't care less. I wouldn't be surprised if the bleachers empty out wherever they sit, since our entire circle of friends think that he has gone crazy. Our kids have all been playing together for 4 years and they have seen such a drastic change in his behavior. Looks like I get the grown up friends in the D, and he gets his under 21 friends. LOL
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
