Just missing you guys a little!

[pearlharbr]

So how was girls' night out? Hope the purple shoes worked their mojo (mine gave me blisters on Fri!).

Of course anger is reasonable in your sitch. I haven't followed your sitch since the beginning so I can't speak to how much of it you have or haven't dealt with. But I do know it's ok to have it and express it in healthy ways and it's better to let it out than let it fester and grow inside you.

I get a daily email for dealing with divorce and several days were devoted to anger. Here are some of the highlights:

"Anger can root deeply, grow quickly, and choke out your emotional health. Unless you cut away at your anger and learn to express it in a healthy manner, it can cause great harm to you and to others around you.

You may feel guilty about the extreme thoughts your anger is leading you to have. Be assured that these thoughts are normal for a person who is going through a divorce.

If you are in a divorce, you will at some point feel anger. The extent of that anger will vary from person to person, but God commands everyone to be wise in anger."
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"Divorce brings an abrupt end to things that you thought were good, right, and secure in your life. Now you aren't sure which parts of your married life were real and which parts were only illusions. You are not wrong to feel anger. Justified anger can be a good and necessary response.

Jesus showed righteous anger when he saw people buying and selling their goods in the temple, making a profit from religious activities rather than revering God.

Lord God, I am so angry. I am furious at my former spouse, at myself, and at other people involved. I want to scream! Show me how to express my anger. Amen."
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"Dr. Les Carter says that having anger means standing up for your own worth, needs, and convictions.

'You don't get angry when folks are kind, pleasant, or understanding. Anger shows up when someone has rejected you or is being uncooperative, or when a person is being critical, harsh, or difficult to get along with. When anger appears on the scene, it arouses your sense of self-preservation.

'You want to preserve one of three things. You want to preserve your worth as a human being; your anger can be your way of wishing to say, "Please, show me some respect, will you?" Anger can be your way of preserving your basic needs: "Recognize that I have needs, and acknowledge them, please." Or anger can be a way that you stand up for your deepest convictions. It is your way of saying, "I believe in things, and I don't want to back away from them."'

You will feel anger at some point in your divorce. Do not try to deny or suppress this emotion. God does not condemn you for your anger when it is justified. God Himself is described as 'slow to anger'--not 'never angry.'"