Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing 2

[Thinker]

Thanks for the advice Puppy.

When I got home, she was there and the discussion started again. I got the obvious point off the table by saying "I am sorry that when you called and reminded me that you were going out, that I gave you a hard time about it. I did agree to that, and will do watch the kids - I was just in a really bad mood when you called."

She accepted that and then we continued again about the R and the OM - all of the same points.

I was even more firm this time - and thankfully much shorter.
- "I agree that there are more things wrong with our marriage than just this A, but this is the most immediate issue and it needs to be resolved before we can proceed to anything else" - (Thanks Puppy)
- to her "I have been trying, but it has been really hard... you don't understand" -- "Don't Try, Just Do it. Press the delete button on him"
- to her "I am not a liar. You're calling me dishonest" -- "I am not calling you dishonest - I am just saying that you have lied, and are continuing to lie to me continuously about the OM.
- "I am not in contact with him" - "Please just stop lying. You contacted him again today (another email)"

I was pretty strong and completely calm the whole time, as was she.

I did not close it very well - no major ultimatum or anything -
She did not promise to stop or change anything, except to say reluctantly and quietly "OK, I'll stop lying"

but I made my point and felt I was strong. I just don't know where that leaves me. We'll see what happens tomorrow. Tomorrow is normally a family day - church, etc. If the weather is nice I'll take the kids out for a long bike ride. My W will probably want to come.

Puppy, I did take your advice and took the kids out to dinner. Had a great time at the diner.