I haven't been here in a while, and who do I find? Facebook is a little silly and convoluted for me. I am reading I Do Again which, although the woman is not exactly a WAW, it's the woman who leaves a "perfect" marriage. I have gained many insights from the play by play in this book. I posted something in the Midlife group which I will paste here:
"Friends,
I am currently reading the book I Do Again. I have just read a passage I had to share, because in the chats and in our emails the question constantly comes up, "what does the spouse see in the OP?" This passage is especially poignant for me, because the wife is the walkaway, but the passage is relevant for either gender, I think.
Quoting Cheryl Scruggs:
"For whatever reason, I was able to share everything with this guy. Things I could not seem to talk about with Jeff, I easily discussed with him. Todd had taken the soul mate position in my life, and Jeff was booted out. As I've pondered this situation, it makes sense. It's easier to share with a stranger you don't live with, who doesn't know your weaknesses and quirks and who doesn't see you at your worst. There is safety. Home is where the truth is. Home is where your guard is down. Home is where the real you is displayed. The stranger always wins because there is less risk. The stranger always looks better." (The italics are mine.) Further down she says, "...when you're married and have twin toddlers, life is kind of hectic. Diapers and grocery shopping and laundry are the topics of the day. Romance is pretty far down on the list. So there's no comparison - a romance-filled life with a stranger looks so much better."
I think this is so indicative of modern day marriage. We want all firecrackers and bottle rockets. But we don't do "still" very well. "Be still and know that I AM God" needs to be applied to our marriages as well, but if we don't know the Lord (as Valorie and I didn't) we are deprived of this valuable lesson.
The book is a treasure. I hope you all will pick it up.
Much love,
David"
Thank you for being my friend and my rock. I am still scared, lost and lonely, but at least it's bearable. D'd a year now. My, how time slips away...
Much love,
David
The fires of true love can never be quenched, because the source of its flame is God Himself! - Shulamith
