It's been 2 months now and it is still difficult to comprehend what has happened and I still occasionally am asking myself why it happened.
To be perfectly honest, while I miss my wife, her company, her humor, how sweet she could be, etc, I think my mind has been clouded and I've been glossing over the negative aspects of our relationship. She was/is controlling, quickly prone to anger(especially when she didn't get her way and sometimes I couldn't even figure out why she was angry), uncommunicative, frivolous w/ money, a gossip, and just damn mean at times. But yet, I still miss her--she had plenty of good qualities as well.
So, having said all this, do I really want her back, assuming she wanted to come back? Not without some real changes and open lines of communication. I honestly think it's a pipe dream at this point. Why I am blogging all this? I think if will be easier for me to refer back to this when I'm not having moments of clarity over the next few months. Am I scared and uncertain as to what the future holds? You bet. I'm trying very hard not to focus too far into the future though and trying to take it one day at a time. [/quote]----------------------------------------------------------------
