Ok, now I'll try and reply to the posts on my last thread before it locked:
Gypsy - Dating is a ton of trial and error. It is unfortunate, but it is. I really liked this last girl and I wish I would have learned about "the rules" w/someone I was less fancy of, but there will be other sock-knockers out there, so I've learned how to stay cool when that situation presents itself. Again, lesson learned - trial and error.
lwb - I couldn't keep the ring b/c of how it was purchased by XW to renew our vows and then she hit me w/D papers a little over a month later. It has ZERO positive value to me so it had to go. On a positive front, I did hear from the jeweler today who said they have a positive lead who is coming back by on Tuesday w/his significant other to look at it. Thus, I may get a sale that is over the bare-boned $550 I was offered before. If that happens, the extra money would come in handy and another chapter would close in my life w/XW -- only the pensions would remain.
I also agree w/your comment that our spouses were the ones who changed and not us...or they lacked the skills, ability, or desire to change and grow.
On this note, I had a discussion w/D on Thursday concerning her mentioning that XW told her the only reason we're divorced is b/c I yelled at XW. I told D that in relationships people raise their voices and yell. I told D that mommy yelled at me too and we didn't yell all the time. I finished by telling D that people yelling at each other is not a reason to get a D as it is something both sides can work through. Instead, we were no longer married for many, many other reasons and to blame our D on yelling at each other was unfair.
I didn't throw XW under the bus, but also made sure she didn't give D a reason to blame me. When D is older, she'll understand much better, but for now, I wanted her to understand that my yelling wasn't why we're no longer married.
Ali - Hello Princess!
I understand your points as being keen and excited doesn't mean needy. However, I still think that I give too much of myself too soon and sometimes people don't want to invest the time to find out for sure, but would rather check off a list and move forward quickly on.
A lot of women I meet are saying they want someone who is "honest" but I don't think they want the life story up front and all at once. Thus, I'll be honest, but I'll be more patient before I open up too much.
It seems as if the woman wants the attraction at first w/the "unknown" and wants the "honesty" stuff once a relationship has been started. So, I'll need to be more patient - I do tend to be rather impatient, which can be interpreted in a negative way.
In fact, patience was one of the lessons I figured out I needed to learn as I was questioning why I was supposed to go through the pain of a D.
I think the latest w/this woman has been to remind me that it is ok to slow down and wait. Again, lesson learned. Trial and error. Fix what is broken. Leave what works alone.
