Just wanted to journal/give an update. So H was trying to reach out to me yesterday. I actually held it together and did not answer. At 11 last night was his last call at which time he left a message saying that he guess I'm not answering the phone but he just wanted to tell me that the inspector stopped by our bldg. Bull crap, he called several times yesterday and didn't leave a message so he just wanted to pull me back in. But I am actually proud of myself because he left the message last night and I decided to not even retrieve it until this morning. So, I got the message and that's it.
But I got a bit of bad news today that I know I shouldn't be sad about but I am. So my cousin and H's younger brother are dating and have gotten engaged after dating for 6months. So my MIL told me today that she heard my cousin is pregnant. I know I should be happy for them and I will be but after being with my H for all these years, dealing with infertility problems, and now H and I are over it kinda hurts to think that my in-laws are now more my cousins family than they are mine. I'm happy for them but I wanted to have my family and my in-laws. But I guess that wasn't in my life plans. I swear dealing with H and the A, I am happy that we don't have kids, but at the same time I am so sad that all my dreams have come to this while others see their dreams come true.
I'm happy for them but I wanted to have my family and my in-laws. But I guess that wasn't in my life plans. I swear dealing with H and the A, I am happy that we don't have kids, but at the same time I am so sad that all my dreams have come to this while others see their dreams come true.
