Thanks to you both Thank you both for making me feel like it is ok to feel the way I do.
Ms M, that was a great analogy! It really helped me think clearer about where I am at.
T, I am going to go travelling. It is something I have wanted to do for years and have put off. I hope to go for at least six months (H looked gutted when I told him that!). I want to see some more of Asia, tour New Zealand and hopefully go to Australia and get some work for a while. That is my hope. After September I will have been at my job 2 years and I am trying to save hard at the moment.
You made a really good point about control. I have a great need to control this and 'speed up the process'. I know better of course. I suppose I have to just carry on living and having fun. H will progress at his own rate. It was so nice to be able to connect with H again. It has been so long since we were like that.
This weekend I have been gardening and cleaning today which was quite satisfying and tomorrow I am going down to the South Coast to visit my baby niece. I have a feeling a cold may be brewing so I am taking lots of vitamins and eating fruit to ward it off!
Thank you both for making me feel like it is ok to feel the way I do.