Still here......

[Belle]

We are meeting tomorrow afternoon for this first session.

I'm pretty nervous as I just don't know how it's going to go.

H was upset when I told him that we are going to pray.

He said he's not comfortable with that.

I asked him why he's going to church then?

"I wish they would give me time to pray for myself. Why do I have to listen to what the pastor is praying? Those are his prayers"

I said - "you have all the time in the world to pray when you're not at church!!"

Anyway, he's still going to go.

He is really messed up.....

He told me today that he knows something is not right. He doesn't feel good about our situation. He thinks about me and just doesn't feel right. (Duh.....Having an affair is the ultimate "not right".)

But it's been easy for him to avoid it because he is studying all the time. (30 credits per trimester) And he guarantees if he had had 3 months off, this situation would have been dealt with a long time ago.

Whatever happens, I pray that he is truly ready to deal with this and to do what it takes to be a decent, honest, real man.

I know my hopes are optimistic, but I still have them.......