Ok, I went from underwhelmed, to OVERWHELMED.. within minutes. The thing is, he looked gorgeous. He was with all of his friends, he stood out, he shone, he was laughing, chatting, making others laugh.. I havent seen him with his friends since last July. It hit me hard and within 10 minutes I realised I am still in love with him. I wasnt sure this past few weeks to be honest, but now, I am back to square one, back to the day he left me, which is awful for me, but there it is.
So.. I was shy when I arrived, sort of said hello then sat across a large table from him next to his (shocked to see me) brother and talked to him for ages.. my ex kept making comments across to me.. we could hardly hear each other, he smiled, mouthed things, mimed things, little in jokes, comments etc.. eventually I moved to be sat next to him and we chatted then more. I wasnt sure but Cher told me there was LOTS of eye contact and little conversations from him right from the start. Noone knew about Helen... then I accidentally got VERY drunk.
I asked G and he said he didnt know, so he loudly asked his brother.. so is he still with Helen, or not, Al wants to know? His brother looked VERY awkward and cringed and said.. um.. yes.. he is.. sorry Al.. and I wanted the ground to swallow me up (ex was outside at this point). We moved to a club, with a small bar downstairs.. when it came to go upstairs to the club, he hung back and said to me (he hadnt taken me aside or visibly sought me out at all so far).. shall we go back down stairs? I said.. um.. shall we? And he said, yes, c'mon.. so we went and rejoined his brother on some bar stools..They were both drunk (oh dear god).
The three of us sat and chatted a little and I was increasingly stressed at the wierdness. G came to join us and I got more frustrated (sadly, I had gotton inadvertently very drunk without meaning to !!!).. then G left and his brother we noticed was now asleep on his stool.. as soon as that happened... I turned to my ex and said "Are you ok then?" and that triggered a long conversation (an hour???) of intense emotional talking and a LOT of crying. It was awful. Everyone kept away. G came by at one point and smoothed my ex's hair done (it was sticking up from him tearing at it!) and said that we looked like he had been in a carcrash. Cher said she came down and we were huddled together, both crying and didnt notice her. Oh dear!
It was a breakthrough perhaps, he said more than before and I did a total ANTI-DBing, totally honest, but I still cant tell if he's coming back, but it was emotional. I will try and post it...
