Fb2 - You've raised that point about the kids perception of adultery before. It bothers me that we are to not bad mouth the actions of the cheating spouse in front of the kids, but yet, does that not send the wrong message that adultery is tolerated.
I guess for our kids sake, it maybe is not so bad if the spouse that cheated ultimately crashes and burns so that they can be an example to the kids of what not to do.
Right now, my kids are just too young to understand the concept of adultery. It pissed me off to no end when I found out for sure from my own daughter that my W was in a PA. My daughter thought it was cute that mommy had a boyfriend and was sharing germs with him. In my rage at the time, I told my daughter that it was wrong for mommy to have a boyfriend when married, because when you marry, you pledge loyalty to the other person. I was chastized for saying this to her.
I think it is good that Tostada has been able to draw a line from the rejection to his XW's attraction to OM. At first we feel like fools, but as time goes on, we realize that most of the downfall in the marriage was not our fault. I dont buy into the people that say that when an affair is discovered that we need to look within ourselves as to our role in causing it. The person that got into the affair has most of the blame (along with the affair partner).
Tostada, your X and the OM are morally deficient people with little conscience.
I have not talked to OW...my perception of why she has not contacted me is they are not as far along in their process as my W believes. OW doesnt want to piece together details because she believes they have a chance, my opinion. In my thoughts, if she thought it was over, she'd pick me for info to help her case, even though the info might not help. Just simply, she's not that educated on divorce law, therefore would want all the info she could.
I know I'm the eternal optimist, but for some reason, I do have hope.
Hope you are doing ok today. During the last year or so that i have been on DB, I have read quite a few sitches. Obviously i went through some things myslef. If I would not have, my opinions would be totally different. As a matter of fact roughly ten yrs. ago, one of my buddies went through this WAW thing. You do not want to know what I called her adn what i suggest he do. I have to admit that I am surprised at your optimism after having found out about this affair.....BUT i understand it. I have been there and i have felt the same way as you do. Having said all that, your challenge will be to GAL. To cccupy yourself physically and mentally. Good luck on the job front and I hope you can find some semblance of happiness during these tough times.
