I think that my range of emotions today and the inablity to control them tells me I need to try antidepressants again.
Maybe it will be easier to move on if I am not feeling anything.
That sounds like it might be a good idea. But I'm on them also, and I still feel stuff, I think it just helps me avoid long-term depression. Like I still have a down day or two now, but that's it, not like for weeks like I did when this all started. If you're not feeling anything, then maybe need to switch to a different AD. Karen
I don't envy you and what you are having to do. There is experience here on the D side also, if you have any questions on the paperwork, fire away. I'm sure someone here has experience to share.
Here is a great website for both you and your H to view http://www.uptoparents.org it offers guidance in regard to your kids. It's very informative.
The biggest thing I can offer, is to maintain your dignity. A D when all of the emotion is removed is a business transaction. You are negotiating for assets and liabilities. The final decree is also a legaly binding document. What ever you sign your name to at the end of the day is a contract. The wording in the contract should not be taken lightly or assumed to be negotiable down the road. Because this is a contract, DON'T RUSH THROUGH IT!!
This was a tough time for me. It really signalled the end of what I fought for. If there is anything you need, just ask.
I started the paperwork..not finished yet. It makes me sick and the anxiety becomes overwhelming as I work to get through it.
Hubby is NOT staying with the "whore".. he is staying at a friends until he takes the next step towards an apartment.(Those were his words..he referred to her as I do!)
I have not really gotten clarity from him if it is his doing or hers....
Or if he wants to try and work on our marriage. He knows where I stand on all this. I love him and am willing to seek help..I dont want to throw our life away.
I hope I am not getting my hopes up.... again.
He said we could talk..I am willing to listen. I want to know what is going on in his head and heart. I guess I dont feel he has really been honest with me yet....
I guess we will see what today brings... I am hoping to hear something from him... I always feel like he is too busy for me.
Remember that guilt is a heavy burden and he may be unable to truely speak his mind because of it. He said some terrible things and it is difficult to swallow those words.
Personally, I would wait on the D paperwork. Be supportive, validate his thoughts and feelings and watch for actions on his part.
I'm not on myspace or facebook. I did set up accounts a couple of years ago, but simply never used them. I will offer this though, skdahnke@earthlink.net if that works. Your call.
In regard to your anxiety, it is completely normal. There is so much uncertainty ahead of you it is difficult to choose a diretion to go and before you know it your spun around and you're back to square one.
As an alternate to D paperwork, you could put together a seperation agreement, where things like finances, visitation, vacation schedules, etc... are spelled out. An agreement like this will allow you to plan better and schedule time more easily. I can imagine at the moment, you don't know what days he will visit the kids or what bills he will be responsible for. The seperation agreement, puts it on paper and is legaly binding. Just a thought, it may help.
The sun is finally shining here in MN. I think its been about 2 weeks since I've seen any blue sky. I'm going to try to get outside and watch the snow melt!!! Getting a little cabin fever!!! Do something fun this weekend, try to take your mind off of the relationship for awhile.
This weekend will be hard... Hubby is looking at an apartment in a few hours. I do realize that in order for him to find himself..he needs to be on his own.
He says he is done with her... but they do still talk. For me, he needs no contact...period.
I know he loves me, he feels something is missing. Yup, and it will always be missing when part of him is still thinking,feeling, and talking with another female that he has been with.
I work all weekend. Going to apply for a different job within my company. Either way, I dont care... its not as important as it was at one time... nothing really matters anymore.
The only time hubby makes to see the kids right now is the weekends... maybe if he gets the apartment...he will actually keep them overnight. Im not looking forward to that, but it will give me more time to focus on me....
Wish we had sun here, weather is so bla and cold...im tired of being a hermit! I love to run..as soon as the weather gets warm..im there. And..my knee needs to not hurt so much! Crazy dancing I think I messed up my knee! LOL I think my age is showing!
There is experience here on the D side also, if you have any questions on the paperwork, fire away. I'm sure someone here has experience to share.