The last few posts from Gooch and PDT REALLY hit home for me! So it's really a question of stating I need you to be in this spot for this to work for me, show me that you can be that person. You have some EXCELLENT advice here on an alternative to your list that should work better I think.
Close Sam, but you are missing how it needs to come across.
You don't want to come across as that "I need YOU to be in this spot for this to work for me" It should be in the tone of "I know what I want. I am not sure that you are the type of person that can give these things to me. I want someone who_____________(fill in the blank here).. I want someone who____________(fill in the blank here.....
It is as if you are using a generic person (I want someone).. You are telling them in a nutshell without pressuring them, that you know what you want and are going to be with "someone" who is that type of person. Allowing them to know that you have had an awakening and now see that they may NOT be that person because you view them as someone who doesn't seem to be able to give those types of things.......
They almost have no options other than to say, "you are right, I can't or am not willing to do those things in a relationship (which then allows you to validate that by saying, yes I agree that I don't think you can either)
or...
as most men do... They listen to what the woman is saying she likes and does not like in a relationship. If the man wants her, he then uses those things to show her that he is exactly that type of man. She does this by being "generic."
How many times have we seen on this site the WS telling the BS what they didn't do and why they want out, only to see the BS do a 180 on those exact things she mentioned. The WS is demanding nothing. They are saying they don't know what they really want, but it is too late now and here are the things I wanted or want in a relationship that you didn't do. You are trying to be someone you aren't.. On and on and on.... It wasn't until they let the BS feel that they weren't sure that the BS finally got with the program.....
Hope you see the difference because it is very important how it is presented.
