You will have some backslides....unless you are perfect and if so then we want you to write the book!
The main obstacle to overcome is being obsessed with every thing he does and says and if it has a connection with the OW. If you can learn to let that run off your back......then you are a winner! No doubt about that. But, sweetie, it is HARD! However, I do not believe it is impossible. It takes a lot of hard determination to not allow yourself to have that pity-party and start evaluating every word and deed. Don't start playing the question & wondering games or it will drive you insane.
The best way to overcome this is by you getting more and more involved in your own GAL. That means getting spruced up yourself, sweetie! Get the heck out of that house! Doll up and go somewhere. You have go to feel like a million bucks while going through this crap with him. If you don't think you are worth a million bucks....then how will you make him believe it? So, there is your starting place. To take a chance at getting clobbered here (as if I never have...lol) you almost have to be to the point of thinking you are being selfish. We women are givers to the point that we start letting ourselves go b/c we are giving to our kids and our H. So, now it is your turn. As somebody has said......it no longer is about him or the OW....it is all about YOU now!! So, get out there baby and get moving in a life that you can enjoy. That doesn't mean to ignore your children and wonder if child protective services will come get them.....don't go into a MLC here....lol. But, I think you know what I am saying. Stop staying in that house so much, and arrange to have your free time for yourself. May feel very strange at first, but your deserve it and actually, it is a must at this point in your life.
Take good care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
